A Zen master used to say, “Before I learned Buddhism, I see mountains as mountains, waters as waters, when I was learning it, I see mountains as not mountains, waters as not waters. After I learned it, I see mountains as mountains and waters as waters.” My scribbles and doodles are a re-creation of my childhood memories. I have come to realize that I am still drawing my personal desires and fantasies, which have transformed as I matured.

虽然很难过，但是还是要走下去。 男人变得好快，真的好快。 人是自私的，为什么好人，善良的人总是受伤？我以前是做了很多伤人的事情，也许是报应吧。 那么从这一刻开始，好好努力，向上。 做一个全新的自己，做一个有价值的人， 做一个爸爸的乖宝宝。 我很伤心，结局竟然是这样的。 原来这就是失恋的感受，我也会有今天。早就知道不合适，为什么当初不顾一切的要在一起？ 是自己没有对自己负责人吧。不知道为什么这么难受，我恨他过去描述的那些虚无的未来。 我们已经没有未来了，为什么女人总是那么笨， 总是愿意去相信那些遥远没有保障的东西。我该怎么办？ 为什么自己那么懦弱？这是我选择的道路吗？

多年以后又一次的迷失了.以前小时候有心肌炎,但是小学５年级以后就再也没有复发过了.今天忽然感觉好难受,觉得呼吸好困难. 前几天好久没有联系的一个高中同学唠叨了两句最后他说：＂怎么你看上去永远都那么开心?＂ (I was, but not anymore, at least now. I feel extremely sad.) 我觉得自己很不上进,很不争气,觉得自己又浪费了好多时间. 忽然那种孤立无援的感觉又回来了.我又变成一个人了,或者说还是一个人的时候最不会受伤.我好累，好想找个没有人的地方躲起来.

失望... ... ...我最初美好的愿望开始动摇了. 世界上好人难做,简单的人难活.原来的我坚信坚定的友谊，忠贞的爱情，到头来是自己痴人说梦. 世上没有什麼绝对的自私自利，有的是那些伤痕累累，心被伤透了的人. 心被伤透了,也就是没有什麼剩下了.接下来就去伤别人的心吧,这才是定律.

当一个人流尽最后一滴纯真的泪，之后就没有什麼好在乎的了.还有什麼比一个人失去了她的belife更可悲的？

每个人都会做梦

我也一样

但是梦醒了以后

还是要回到现实的生活中

毕竟梦只是梦

In this world there is not free lunch.

付出一定会有收益

为什么要对我那么好

我又为什么轻易去接受

现在只感觉负罪累累

想回避更想逃避

但是却已经习惯了你的陪伴

对不起， 真的对不起

我不应该那么贪心

我不应该完全忽视你的好

我不应该拿你跟他人对比

是时候面对自己

贪心就快将我腐蚀

不要吝啬去惩罚自己

不要辜负真心对你好的人

梦醒了，继续现实的脚步

对不起, I love you.

No!!!! I lost the ability to write. That could be the most terrible thing happening in my present life~! How and when did that happen~? No matter you are Chinese or American, you hold a language in your life, but I found out that I could not speak neither of them.  Girl, don't abuse your luck. You are not one of these superficial people who satisfied in their narrow world. Self-satisfied/over self-confidence could fail your life in a dumb well. Girl, don't abuse your luck.Correctly and clearly perceive yourself, and persevere with it.

Let me burn-out

A beautiful cry as I fade away
I open my eyes to see her face
The miracle of a new life
Through all the pain and strife
Heaven's angel here to take my place
To run the race of this world
In the form of a little girl
Through all the commotion
I feel the emotion of a joyful life
As death calls me
The end of a life to be
I feel no pain
No shame
No regret
Nor do I fear
For with her eyes and a tear
She fills me with joy, calm and peace
As my life does decease
She will live
The gift I give to all
As I stand tall
I will watch her
From the Heavenly altar
For she will always be
The living part of me
My beautiful daughter.